The Braamekraal Bean-Field War

We read, today, from the Book of St. John of See-More, Chapter 3:

Store thee the Grain of the Earth, and the Feed of thy Chickens in safe caches, where it be kept from the predations of The Pestilential Rat.

And succumb not to slothful neglect to Go After any such of this Pestilence as may take up residence in thy fields or in thy gardens.

Suffer not the Little Bastards to abide in thy Long Grass, thinking, as you may, "Oh, I'll set a Trap for them Tomorrow."

For Tomorrow may be Too Late, and ye may yet awaken from thy slumber to find an Unholy Proportion of thy bean crop Lying Down, severed in the prime of their growth by The Rat's Razor Teeth. And this shall cause ye a wailing and a gnashing of thine own teeth. And Dental Work may ensue. And ye may also suffer the humiliation of mockery by thy Blogging Peers. And also Hedge Wizard.

For ye may then find that thou hast insufficient Beans for thy Chilli when cometh the Depths Of Winter. And thou mayest resort to Store Bought Lentils. And this is Not Good.

So set ye the Death of Rats to work. Labour ye mightily until it be baited and filled with a good depth of water. Make the bait Tempting unto The Rat with a slathering of Peanut Butter.

And rest ye not until this be done. For The Rat hath surely a dozen babies growing fat on your Bean Crop and your Carrots and your Fennel.

Here endeth the lesson.

Amen.

Chicken Hygeine

The Cottage Smallholder » "How do I keep my chickens clean?" is a great post about Chicken Hygiene!  Chickens are simply not very clean animals.  It's OK up to a point to justify some of their habits by rationalising, "Well, there's no sense applying human standards to other animals."  Mountain Gorillas, for instance,  die if they don't eat each others' shit, since that's how they share certain enzymes vital to their digestive systems.1

Chicken Mites are a real bugger and get out of hand really fast in warm weather.  I detest using poisons, so dealing with Mites was a real dilemma for me for a long time, until The Lightbulb Moment a few years ago.  Now, about four times a year, I clear out the bedding and crap from the chookhouse, and then take a blowtorch to all the surfaces (especially perches.)  Works like a bomb2 and kills all bugs and their egss, provided I play the flame back and forth over each area for a while and let it get good and hot.  Occasionally I get a bit too enthusiastic and manage to scorch the wood a little, but usually there's no problem.

Speaking of which, its probably time I cleaned out the chicken house again this weekend...

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[1] I read it somewhere.  What is this? Wikipedia? The Spanish Inquisition?


[2] ...visions of broken bits of chookhouse flying through the air...

African Rat Trap

Tempted to title this post "Oh Rats!" or "Getting Ratted"...

A Rat Plague of Near Biblical Proportion has descended upon us.  It happens most years around this time; I guess that all the Rat babies born in Spring or Summer are now fully-grown, leaving their parents burrow to set up home for themselves for the first time.  And, of course, the Veggie Garden is the local Rat Supermarket.

I have heard it said that, "Where a Human Being is, there is a Rat within 20ft."  I believe it.  Certainly the first thing I saw upon landing in Boston was a Rat.  And likewise for Johannesburg, London or pretty-much anywhere else I've been (except Switzerland¹) just so you know I'm not picking on anybody.

The first few years I tried conventional Rat traps -- the kind that go SNAP -- but freely confess that they scare me shitless.  For days after setting one of those things I harbour nightmares of my fingers getting SNAPped, worry about The Dog getting her pretty (though excessively long) snout SNAPped.  They're humane, though, the SNAP traps.  The real downside is that they get at most one Rat and then need resetting and re-baiting.  Quite often, too, the Rats would make a Clean Getaway with The Cheese.

I once tried poison -- the kind that comes in waxy blocks -- well tucked away from Dogs and Small Children in a scrap of irrigation pipe.  The label claimed that it was "safe" in not causing secondary poisoning of any unsuspecting creature that might eat a Rat carcass. I have my doubts.  Anyway, the stuff disappeared within a couple of days and didn't seem to have any effect.

Then I read how to construct an African Rat Trap.


Read and Learn:

First dig a hole in the ground, of a size and shape to bury a large-ish bucket to its brim.  Place said bucket in the hole, and fill the bucket a quarter or a third full with water.  Place a piece of wire across the centre of the bucket, suitably baited with something Yummy To Rats.  I believe that people in Zimbabwe use Peanut Butter.  It certainly worked well for me, but I seem to have Vegan Rats who far prefer a chunk of Carrot.  Empty the bucket periodically of drowned Rats.

See, the Rats stretch along the wire, trying to get the food, but not being trained for the High Wire, they lose their balance and fall into the water.  Frequently they actually do get a nibble, so at least they don't die hungry!  I've had such a trap deal with as many as eight Rats in one night.

Seems a tad cruel, yes, but very effective. And we're talking about Bubonic Plague and stuff, so Rats are the one thing I won't abide.  Then, too, the presence of a plentiful Rat supply will inevitably be followed by a Plague of Snakes, and pretty dangerous ones, too.  The Rats also eat the bark off numerous trees, including our fruit trees.  We've already lost a 2-year-old Avocado tree this year.  Not to mention that they're playing merry hell with my Nantes Carrots that I'm supposedly growing up for seed (barely visible in the pics due to having had their tops eaten off.)

Cue Monty Python: Has it got any Rat in it?

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[1]  I believe that Rats are strictly Verboten in Switzerland unless properly Licenced and Taxes Paid, and that they get a severe Talking To and Finger-Wagging if they wiggle their snouts inappropriately.  Local Canton rules may apply, though.